Monday, September 1, 2008

The True Story Of How John McCain Hired Sarah Palin

Republicans used to make a big deal out of the inability of Democrats to run the country like a business. Republicans, they claimed, would be efficient and balance the budget, just as any business must do. (This claim was cold comfort to some of us who had lengthy careers in business. I can't think of a single place I worked that paid more than lip service to the god of efficiency.) While eight years of a failed CEO presidency marked by profligacy and cronyism have stilled that voice somewhat, it's nonetheless instructive to apply the business model to John McCain's approach to choosing a running mate.

Here's how McCain, Inc. decided that Sarah Palin should be next in line for the presidency:
  • Because of concerns about their commitment to key aspects of the corporate culture, otherwise preferred applicants like Joe Lieberman and Tom Ridge were not offered the position
  • Sarah Palin filled out a job application
  • She interviewed with the 71-year old male hiring manager, impressing him deeply with her charisma (read: pulchritude)
  • Smitten on the spot, the manager decided that he didn't need to check references and immediately offered her the job
There's no fool like and old fool, and John McCain isn't the first one to fall under the spell of a pretty face. But this wasn't an audition for Vegas chorus girl, either (even if certain parts of his body argued otherwise).  You think I'm exaggerating? Read it and weep...

New Orleans may have dodged a bullet, but other parts of southern Louisiana weren't so lucky. Neither was the Cuban province of Pinar Del Rio. Nor Haiti...

Look, I don't think we should be jumping on a 17-year girl who -- stop the presses -- got pregnant any more than I think people should make ugly homophobic "jokes" about children. But surely we're permitted a certain degree of schadenfreude when we learn that her mother supported abstinence-only education...

It's funny how the same gang that thought swift-boating John Kerry and drive Vince Foster to suicide was all aboveboard now cringes sanctimoniously at the supposed "mud-slinging and lies" surrounding Bristol Palin's pregnancy...

Max Blumenthal of The Nation reports on a secretive right-wing group that did vet Palin (after a fashion) and liked what they found...

President Bush speaks to the Republican convention tonight, but only after the flaming oratory of Fred Thompson and Joe Lieberman has sedated the delegates...

2 comments:

rgg said...

From "The Simpsons": Homer gloats about Ned Flanders being on the verge of bankruptcy.

Lisa asks, “Dad, do you know what Schadenfreude is?”, to which Homer replies in a sarcastic tone, “No, I do not know what Schadenfreude is. Please tell me because I’m dying to know.”

Lisa explains “It’s a German word for shameful joy, taking pleasure in the suffering of others.”

Homer responds “Oh, come on, Lisa. I’m just glad to see him fall flat on his butt! He’s usually all happy and comfortable, and surrounded by loved ones, and it makes me feel…what’s the opposite of that shameful joy thing of yours?”

“Sour grapes.”

“Boy, those Germans have a word for everything.”

K. said...

Which reminds me of a great Simpson's bit:

"We Germans are a peaceful people. But even we have our limits!"