Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Dictionary of Word Verifications

consp: A conspiracy nipped in the bud.

elsestsp: Else's Teaspoon. Reference unclear. Thought to be the quantity of "or else" administered to anyone crossing their mother.

fartines: Bean-based soda crackers.

flument:  A virus intended for another person but that infected you instead.

frool: 1. What you are if you drool in public. 2. The involuntary expectoration of a male of the species completely bewitched by a female of the species.

gratorsa: Latin: Being thankful for the body you have.

iache: Def: 1. A sore ego.  2. iPod induced tinnitus.  3. Archaic: Any wound inflicted by Iago or an Iago-like person.

mootion: Cow-etry in motion.

olest: Not as bad as "molest," but the next worst thing.

puzzlia: 1. Brain cramp caused by the Saturday New York Times crossword puzzle.  2. Proper noun: A city in the land of Baffledom.

retyll: Archaic English form of "retail." See Chaucer, "The Merchant's Tale."

soymethi:  Organic form of Greek crystal meth.

visorath: Rage of the Visigoths.

An incredulous Campbell Brown shreds Bush's claim that the government responded quickly to Hurricane Katrina:

The Mahalia Jackson Theatre for the Performing Arts reopens this weekend. At one time, the Katrina damage to the theatre was thought to so extensive as to render the theatre a total loss. Here, Mahalia Jackson sings her overwhelming version of "We Shall Overcome:"

"Waterboarding is torture." So testified Attorney General nominee Eric Holder in as clear and unambiguous a statement as anyone could want. It's sad that something so obvious took so long for someone in an official position to recognize. There may be no greater indictment of the Bush Administration's cynicism than its continual claims that it was not pursuing torture as a policy...

"I am not a number. I am a free man." R. I. P., The Prisoner, Patrick McGoohan...

If you're in New Orleans this weekend, don't miss the Danny Barker Centennial Celebration
Danny Barker (1909-1994) was a tireless torch bearer of the unique culture of his home town. Barker's long career spans much of the history of Jazz; he had tap danced in infamous Storyville and later migrated to New York where he performed on more than 1000 recordings with such diverse artists as Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday, Cab Calloway, Charlie Parker, Lena Horne and his talented wife Blue Lu Barker. Danny's work with young talent in the creation of the Fairview Baptist Church Band was pivotal in the brass band revival of New Orleans in the 1980s that still flourishes today...
Check out Danny's version of "Saint James Infirmary:"


John Hayes said...

Love to see Danny Barker getting his due; he was such a fantastic musician & songwriter-- the lyrics he came up with for St James Infirmary are worth a listen just by themselves. Mahalia Jackson is really just too amazing for words.

New Orleans Ladder said...

Prestifigitation: Bushticulation of inner conflict, akin to a faint call for mercy across a killing field, even rescue from the screaming small words that battle within his mind to form one just one complete sentence.

Syllodomy: Absolute assfuck of logic facilitated via the application of NeoSpeak K-Y Street Jelly.

Spinfiltration: the application of NeoSpeak K-Y Street Jelly in the bundling of Marketing, Politics and Civil Engineering.

Ixthusian: It Takes A Fish based initiative.


Premium T. said...

OMG dear man you are funny!

wv: snize

K. said...

"Snize" would be the quantitative measurement of a sneeze.

Editilla: We also need an Dictionary of Editilla-speak.

John: I didn't know about Danny Barker until I found the announcement about the centennial. That version of SJI is too great.

John Hayes said...


Barker was a fantastic musician, & in terms of songwriting wrote the memorable "Save the Bones for Henry Jones" (among other, less well-known tunes). He was a solid rhythm player both on the guitar & the banjo; & he was married to a fantastic singer, Blu Lu Barker. Sadly, it appears that the albums of both these fine musicians have been discontinued by the manufacturers....

for the curious: wf=redginta

rgg said...

Sitiot: the person who sits directly in front of you in an otherwise empty theater.

K. said...

Ca-ching! We have a winner!