Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Update: Rudolph death confirmed

Alaska state officials confirmed this morning that Governor Sarah Palin had indeed shot Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. 

At a press conference, the former Republican candidate for vice president described the "shootin' as necessary to the policy of 'Drill Baby Drill." According Governor Palin, the glare from Rudolph's nose made drilling on Alaska's North Slope "just about impossible." 

Governor Palin dismissed the possible environmental impact of the killing: "Ya know, I know there's just one red-nosed reindeer, but it hardly qualifies as an endangered species. And when ya gotta drill, ya gotta drill." 

As for the famed ruminant's importance to the delivery of toys on Christmas Eve, Palin pointed out that the additional oil and natural gas gained from the shooting meant that Santa would have plenty of fuel for his annual trip, although she allowed that there "would have to be some modernizin' of equipment."

Governor Palin took offense at suggestions that the shooting was accidental: "With that nose? As good a shot as I am, I coulda hit him blindfolded."

2 comments:

Sylvia K said...

She never stops, huh?

HelenWheels said...

She's a killin' machine, you betcha! *wink*

I'm so glad I caught the nefarious aftermath celebration!